Here are some notes from the last 36 hours without a voice:
1) When you whisper, people whisper back.
2) I am apparently funnier when I cannot talk. Okay, I get the point.
3) People look at you really funny when you walk down the street carrying on a whisper conversation.
4) There are more nice people out there than you might expect.
5) I am going to talk for a solid week once I get my voice back.
Like Bill Clinton without his interns…
Like George W. Bush without his war powers…
I have lost my voice. I am a shell of my former self. I also sound pretty creepy when I go around the office whispering to everyone.
That’s all that is left at www.AveraStation.com. What, you ask, is Avera Station? It is was the condo for which my wife and I had a ratified contract. However, the builder decided to exercise the clause in the contract that allowed them to sell the entire property to convert it to an apartment complex.
So, just like that, the Proctor’s are back on the housing market. Unbelievable.
On our Memorial Day trip to Arizona, I decided to splurge and get the GPS in our rental car. Good idea, right? Having GPS guarantees that you won’t get lost, right?
Wrong.
Our relationship with Vicky (the name given to the GPS unit by our Enterprise rep) began on Friday night at the Phoenix airport. Once she was safely fastened to the dash, we embarked on the journey to our hotel for the night. Or so we thought.
You see, to function properly, a GPS unit must be communicating with the satellites. It is difficult to accomplish such a feat WHEN THE ENTERPRISE GUY TURNS OFF THAT FUNCTIONALITY! That’s right, upon leaving the airport, Vicky began operating in simulation mode. Basically, that means she reads off all of the steps of the journey, regardless of where you are at the time.
After a series of attempts to follow Vicky’s apparently haphazard directions, and her continued drawing of the right route, despite our wrong turns, I uttered the title phrase, “Vicky’s retarded, but she sure can draw!” I’m sure it was a lot funnier during our near-midnight, post-flight daze, but I thought it was worth repeating.
So, once we got Vicky talking to the satellites, the trip went amazingly well. We intend to get our own Vicky sometime soon, along with comprehensive operating instructions.
It has been almost two months since my last post. This is what my three long-time readers call “typical” blogging behavior. Each time I start blogging, I pick up on a theme, blog it to death, and then go away for a few months until I get excited about a new theme. Good for me, bad for readership.
So let’s try something different. I’m not going to change URLs or any of the other tactics I’ve used in the past to signal a dramatic change. I’m just going to start again (with a cute little redesign). The new JeffProctor.net is going to be exactly that, the Jeff Proctor blog. Past attempts at JeffProctor.net have really been JeffProctorPoliticalViews, JeffProctorPhotos, JeffProctorTravelAdventures, and similar themes. This time, it is going to be all of that, and more. If it’s happening to me, or I’m thinking it, it’s fair game. (In other words, it could be really boring.)
Hopefully I’ll be able to come up with some good stories to tell, occasionally (okay, more often than that) blab about something I think is important, show you some photos I’ve taken, and be generally entertaining. At a minimum, the blog will be a good check to make sure I’m not going crazy. I think.
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 | Bitter on To Serve and Protect? |
 | Krystal on Now I Know |
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 | Leann on Now I Know |
